
My husband and I have a really cool volunteering assignment. We spend time, more than once a week, at a semi-skilled retirement center. We assist in bringing the group a worship meeting on Sunday among other things. Every Sunday we set up our chapel: the dining room rearranged and an added a podium and electronic piano. About a half hour before meeting we go door to door, knocking, calling out the name of the person we are visiting, walking in the room a few feet and hoping for a response. If we get one, we ask if they would like to go to church. Some of our regular attendees are usually in different states of dress, preparing to come and join us; we zip the final few inches of a zipper for them, or tuck in an errant strap, and wheel their chairs to the elevator, chatting all the time, happy to see them up and moving. Others sleepily decline but are sweet and wish us well, and we do likewise. We have been asked to avoid some residents, which we do. Because of the nature of the care center, there is a fairly rapid turnover of people who live there, and we are always on our toes, giving out our last goodbyes or else tentatively knocking on the door calling out their name, reading it from a new name plate found at the side of the door frame identifying the resident. One morning I was making my way down the hall and I noticed “Barbara W”, someone new. I had seen this nameplate here for a couple of weeks but there was never any answer when I tapped and the door had been locked. On a whim I tried again, and this time the door opened, responding to my gentle push on the handle. I called out, “Barbara?” and identified myself, taking a step in and saw her sitting on the couch. I greeted her, and invited her to join us for a meeting, but before I could finish my invitation, I had a slow spread of recognition wash over me. I once again said, “Barbara?” and added, “Are you Barbara Williams from Boulder City?” She answered expectantly, “Yes…?” I bent towards her and excitedly explained our connection. I told her who my parents were, and reminded her that she was a close friend of my mother, Anne, and that I had lived in Boulder City for the first 15 years of my life; I had been a part of the gatherings at Mr. Charleston, swim parties and picnics at Lake Mead, most of these events with our church family. Her laughter, along with the sound of the laughter of others that were my mother’s friends came back into my memory–it elicited feelings of a time of comfort and belonging as a child in a group of happy caring adults. I paused, waiting for a response, and then her own wave of recognition came, and she said, “Well for goodness sakes!”
Everything shifted and she began asking me questions about the other members of my family. I fired back the answers, anxious to cement the connection with her. She finally commented, “Anne died too young.” I nodded agreement, and shared with her that the day before this was the 41st anniversary of her passing. And now, here she was–a tangible link to those dappled days, portions of my memory dropping details and perhaps adding others. We sat together holding hands, and I cried, we both laughed. I had the feeling wash over me that my mother was reaching out through time and space to me, and I felt the love and connection to her through Barbara. After about 20 minutes of sharing stories and answering questions, I had to leave, but told her I would be back. And I came back. I visited her before and after meetings; some days I just showed up solely to spend time with her. We talked of the other women in their Boulder City group who did things together, most of their activities centering around their church community. We remembered together those days gone by, of dime-a-dip dinners at our church, of her and Mom and a few others taking days for dipping chocolates in the days when people didn’t normally do that at home. She shared a few pranks that she and her friends had played on each other; one of my favorites was swapping political campaign signs from yard to yard, and we giggled together, visualizing the outcome of the event.
I knew she was having trouble sleeping at night, so if she was dozing when I showed up, I quietly left. She was never able to join our group for church, but on one of the Sundays after a meeting, my husband and I were able to go to her room to share the sacrament with her, a holy and sacred ordinance prepared to help the one who partook recommit to a better life, aligning it more with the teachings and promises made to Jesus Christ. It was a pinnacle moment for me, to sit by her on her couch and observe her humbly bowed head during the prayers, feeling her sweetness, purity and gratitude for this experience. Other members of my family visited her, and chatted of times gone by. She often shared her concerns of her family with me, catching me up on the events of her children and grandchildren, both worried and proud. She did not disappoint–it was a gift to have her there, close and attentive.
One afternoon I walked in and before I could greet her she saw me and said, “Eva died.” I was saddened but not surprised. Some of our conversations had centered around the three in their group of friends that were left. She was well aware of where they were and how they were doing, and Eva had been struggling. The funeral came and went; she couldn’t go, but my sister Brenda did and she sent me photos and I showed them to her, scrolling through them on my phone while sitting next to her. “Well now it’s just me and Glenna.” She stared at me, asking with her eyes, “What does it take to join the others?”
A few months into this gifted time we had, I went in one Sunday morning to greet her, but she was not on her couch. Calling out her name, I made my way into her bedroom, following her answering voice, weak and soft. “What happened?!” She was lying in bed, untouched breakfast on a tray, hovering over her. She turned her head to me, barely opening one eye and said, with much effort, “I fell. Broke my hip.” I asked if she was in pain, and the answer was an emphatic and dreadful yes. I didn’t know what to do. I expressed my sympathy and concern, and helplessly stood there, gesturing my ineptness. Her eye closed again, and after a moment, I went over to her, put my hands gently on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head and with emotion said, “I love you–I’ll be back.” She smiled slightly and I walked away and out of her room. I heard her voice rise again, and with noticeable effort she called out, “Thanks for coming to see me.” The knot in my throat gave way to tears.
The next day I arrived there in the afternoon and as I walked down the hall, an aide was coming out of her room. “How’s Barbara?” I questioned and he shook his head. “Not good. Her family is gathering.” I asked again, “What do you mean, is she…” He interrupted me and pointedly repeated, “Her family is gathering.” I rushed to her door, and was taken aback with the room full of people who didn’t know me, but knew Barbara. Two of her children I had met at previous visits, reacquainting myself with their adult selves when all I had known was the child. One daughter came over to me and in quiet tones we asked questions and gave answers to each other about Barbara’s condition and situation, and at my request, she wrote down my number, agreeing to let me know of any progress.
I increased my prayers on her behalf, hoping for a peaceful but quick resolution. The next morning I left my house very early, and went to the Jordan River Temple near my home with my husband, Wally. We had taken assignments on the early morning shift as volunteers there, assisting others who came to spend time in this sacred building that day. During that morning my thoughts had been centered around Barbara, and in a moment of rest, I had to fight away tears. I purposefully changed my thoughts from how she was leaving us to her arrival somewhere else, joining her family and friends. Opening this door filled me with joy and I felt the comradery of those joining the reunion. In my mind and heart I could hear their voices, delighted and filled with laughter as they gathered. I was able to set my own sorrow aside and proceed with my work. I mused over what I had just felt and heard and took comfort.
In a few moments my assignment was to assist another woman in her temple worship, and she was carrying the name of one of her ancestors on a card, which she handed to me. I read the name–it was “Barbara.” There was a confirmation of my experience, unimagined, a nod from the other side, and fresh tears filled my eyes at the tenderness of the thought. When I got home later that morning, I listened to a message that had been left on my phone earlier by Barbara’s daughter. In the night, Barbara had gone peacefully. She had unlocked the secret of passage and stepped through.




Happy Birthday, Verle. Thank you for including me in your collection.
We wound up with two solid pieces of evidence contributed first hand by Thirza. So when did she die?
P.S. Unfortunately, Ormus’ father never did see him again as John Nay died a year before O. B. Nay was released from the Nevada State Penitentiary, and resumed his life with his family, fathering two more children with faithful Louisa. but that’s another story. . .

assigned myself the task of transferring all of the genealogical records my mother had researched, accumulated and organized her whole life into my new computer system. The software I had was brand new, called “PAF” I think. The device I was using ran with a DOS program, ancient now, but at that time it was pretty much cutting edge for me. I was excited with the goal I had set for myself, and spent many a day working at the black and white screen, entering little numbers and ciphers that translated into my family history.
more familiar with how to run the machine and with the names of
those people with whom I shared my genes. (Hooray for second chances!) During this process, two names in particular kept coming into my mind, Thirza Angelina Hale and Thankful Lucy Pine. I determined when I completed my job, I would look more closely at their information and see what it was that was drawing me in. After several weeks, I finally came to that point, and discovered to my surprise these women were married to the same man.